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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30147747">Cucumbers Are For Eating</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/suburbangothic/pseuds/suburbangothic'>suburbangothic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:49:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>733</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30147747</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/suburbangothic/pseuds/suburbangothic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Moreid acting like an old married couple while grocery shopping.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>119</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cucumbers Are For Eating</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakaylaJade/gifts">MakaylaJade</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Derek! We don’t need any more protein powder.” Spencer gave his boyfriend a confused look as he reached for two more cans of whey.</p><p>“Oh but we need 15 different kinds of vinegar?” Derek shot back, swatting Spencer’s hands away as he tried to take the protein powder back out of the shopping cart.</p><p>“It’s for an experiment!” Spencer exclaimed, “You would know if you just let me explain!”</p><p>“Pretty boy, you know I usually love to listen, but do you remember why I didn’t want to know?” Derek said with a smirk as he pushed the shopping cart down the next aisle.</p><p>“Plausible deniability,” Spencer mumbled, “But if–”</p><p>“No, no, no, do you remember your last science experiment that blew up the microwave? Or the one before that, when I ended up with burn marks on my ceiling? Or- Or the one before that, that turned my dining room table neon pink?” Derek asked, pausing to throw a box of Lucky Charms into the cart, “And besides, the whey is for science too.”</p><p>“Wait, that’s not on the list.” Spencer said.</p><p>“Yeah,” Derek shrugged, heading further down the aisle, “But they’re your favorite and we’re almost out.”</p><p>Spencer smiled softly to himself and followed Derek to the end of the aisle before realizing, “Wait! What science experiment are you doing?”</p><p>“The science of how I look this good, baby.” Derek smiled, flexing a bicep as Spencer looked at him, an unamused expression on his face.</p><p>Spencer’s eyes roamed over his boyfriend’s chiseled chest and stomach as he crossed his arms and mumbled, “You’re not that strong.”</p><p>“Oh really?” Derek asked amused, with an eyebrow raised at his boyfriend.</p><p>He stopped, pulled Spencer in close by his arm and whispered, “That’s not what you were saying last night.”</p><p>Spencer could feel the heat in his cheeks spread all the way down his neck. He was frozen in place, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as Derek continued on to the produce section.</p><p>“Come on pretty boy, I need some salad ingredients.” Derek said, snapping Spencer out of his trance. He jogged to catch up to his boyfriend and found him eyeing the cucumbers.</p><p>“Spence, which one do you think is better?” Derek turned to face him, holding one cucumber in each hand.</p><p>“Well, typically,” Spencer started as Derek turned back to the pile on the shelf, “ a cucumber is considered ripe when it’s medium to dark green and firm to the touch. Did you know that–”</p><p>“Got it!” Derek interrupted turning around again, this time with two different cucumbers in his hands, one barely longer than his fist and another almost the size of his forearm, and a wide smirk on his face.</p><p>Spencer could swear that he was tomato red from head to toe by now as he eyed his boyfriend who had both bushy eyebrows raised at him.</p><p>“Derek,” Spencer hissed, “put those down.”</p><p>“What? Why?” Derek laughed as Spencer yanked the cucumbers out of his hands.</p><p>“Because! Cucumbers are for eating! Not for sexual innuendos.” He whispered the last part as Derek held up his hand again, this time with an even bigger cucumber than before.</p><p>“Der! If you keep touching all the cucumbers with your filthy hands, we’re gonna end up having to buy them all.” Spencer exclaimed, reaching for the cucumber.</p><p>“My hands are clean Spence!” Derek laughed as he held the cucumber just out of the genius’s reach and watched as Spencer struggled to grab it from him.</p><p>“No they aren’t! Do you have any idea how many germs are on your hands right now? Even if you’ve washed them recently? Did you know that there are about 15 hundred bacteria on just one square centimeter of your hand? That’s over 1.1 million bacteria on each hand and that’s not even cons–” Spencer was interrupted by Derek’s soft lips pressing against his own.</p><p>Derek took the cucumbers from Spencer’s hands and dropped them in the cart as his boyfriend melted into the kiss. Once Spencer’s hands were free, he brought them up to cup his lover’s face as Derek wrapped his arms around Spencer in a strong grip, pulling him even closer. They broke apart only after the need for oxygen was too overwhelming, and Derek’s eyes opened to see Spencer beaming at him.</p><p>“It’s safer to kiss, right?” Derek smiled softly.</p>
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